Rules For Being A Good Republican
These are rules as told by a member of a different site. That site is onlinedebate.net and his name there is Booger. So, once again, this stuff is Booger's view and not mine, even though I pretty much agree lol. Depending on how I feel, later today or tomorrow, I might post some other peoples Democrats rules. Without further interruption I bring you
"Rules For Being A Good Republican"(as told by Booger)
The Rules For Being A Good Republican
1) You have to believe that Chinese Communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco. Tool!
2) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are a millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for your "recovery."
3) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
4) You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
5) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.
6) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.
7) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
8) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
9) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
10) You have to believe that Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.
11) You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
12) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.
13) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
14) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex. Silly Republicans.
15) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.
16) You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.
17) You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.
18) You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science" but Creationism should be taught in schools.
19) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
20) You have to believe that Saddam was good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
21) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter."
23) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
24) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.
25) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant."
26) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good wholesome reading.
27) You have to believe that everyone should support the troops - except when it comes to paying them.
28) You have to believe that the only reason supply-side economics hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
29) You have to believe that the media are biased toward liberals, despite the fact that all the major media outlets are owned by ultra-rich conservatives.
30) You have to believe that 9/11 was the fault of [insert Axis of Evil member state here].
1 Comments:
I wish I had time to post a more lengthy rebuttal, but you'll see my perspectives at usanow.blogspot.com. Come visit.
Rules for being a good Democrat:
* You must cringe when a white male achieves success through hard work and assume he got their by cheating, lying, or stealing, or by taking advantage of a minority or a woman.
* You must be tolerant of all colors, creeds, and religions except white Christians.
* You must declare war against the wealthy, even if you're a congressman who's married to a multi-millionaire heiress.
* You must place more value on the life of a slug or a snail-darter than an unborn human.
* You must demand that the government take care of all your financial and healthcare needs.
* You must have a good, healthy dose of American self-loathing.
* You must always assume the worst when it comes to the United States: Our military is incompetent, the FBI listens to all our private conversations, the administration is corrupt, etc.
* You must fight for everybody's right to free speech, except for those who demonstrate for pro-life issues.
* You must ALWAYS step in line with any cause fought for by the ACLU, Green Peace, or Amnesty International.
* You must ALWAYS put more creedence in Al-Jazeera than Fox News.
* You must ALWAYS trust Al Qaeda before you trust George Bush.
* You must believe that illegal immigrants have more rights to higher education than white males.
* You must hold to the premise that the US foreign policy must be approved by the United Nations.
* You view economics as a zero-sum game, and that somebody's success ALWAYS comes at the expense of somebody else.
* You believe that if the United States were suddenly disarmed and our economy collapsed, that the rest of the world would become more peaceful and prosperous.
* You believe that big business and big oil are enemies to our nation, even though our continued security and prosperity is a result of their success.
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